


Drifting to you

by korrasamiari



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Bending (Avatar TV), Angst, Daddy Issues, Daddy Kink, Dirty Talk, Exes, F/F, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Lesbian Sex, Oral Sex, POV Asami Sato, Past Relationship(s), Rough Sex, Smut, Some Humor, Some Plot, Strap-Ons, so in love, they’re exes but they are in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 08:36:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29573298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/korrasamiari/pseuds/korrasamiari
Summary: After 3 years of no communication, Asami decides to text her ex-girlfriend, Korra, in hopes that she can finally put an end to her heartbreak. Things end completely different than what she thought.
Relationships: Korra/Asami Sato
Comments: 28
Kudos: 249





	Drifting to you

**Author's Note:**

> this is a very long one shot and i feel like i went overboard with it, i hope it doesn’t bother anyone how long it is. had this idea in my head, not sure how i feel about it at all. this is a lot of smut, with a little bit of angst.
> 
> tw//cw: there are mentions of self-h*rm in this story, nothing heavy at all, but still wanted to make a warning!  
> there is also a minor daddy kink and i know that makes some people uncomfortable
> 
> enjoy <3

Asami's fingers dance over the keyboard of her phone, completely unsure to what her message should be. Her brain was still on the plane, as if it had finally caught up to what she was doing and decided to leave her on her own. That's most likely why she can't form a text, she can't think. Is she really this desperate and heartbroken after three years?

_hey._

She types out simply and before she could think much about it, hits send.

 _There. It's done._ She thinks as she leans back against a column outside the airport. Locking her phone, she taps it against her thigh, nervously hoping for a response. It's a chilly night and for a moment she regrets choosing a night flight and only wearing a sleeveless crop top. Asami feels her phone vibrate and flips it over.

_**Asami? um hi**_

Perhaps it's a good sign she replied so quickly, from their last conversation Asami would have assumed the woman wanted nothing to do with her. Instead of replying through texts, she opted for a phone call.

The line trills for a few short moments and connects.

"Hey, Korra." Her heart is at a thousand miles, but her voice is calm, "Are you in Miami?"

Asami swears she hears a hitch of breath followed by a cough, "Um, Y-Yes, I am, why?"

"Do you still live at that apartment?" Asami looks around, people moving frantically to catch their rides, some running up excitedly to what she assumes are family members.

"Yea-"

"Okay, I'm going to be there in 20." Asami doesn't let her finish, cutting her off before Korra could muster any more of her response.

She opens Uber, pays a driver to come pick her up and then checks her social media. Her hands were shaking at the thought of what she had done, she hasn't done anything this stupid in a while. Not since she broke up with Korra.

Or when Korra broke up with her? Who knows what happened almost three years ago. It was a complete mess. Asami hasn't been able to think straight from the moment she found Korra's hoodie in her closet a week ago, hidden away in a plastic box. She had sobbed in there, holding the thing that had lost that Korra smell long ago. It had sent her spiraling, she went through their old messages, the stupid letters that Korra wrote to her, and the pictures she had developed.

She had bought a plane ticket and now she was here, which to Asami was still pretty surreal.

The Uber arrived and after a small checkup that they were the right person, she got inside. Luckily, the driver wasn't very chatty. Just a pleasant hello. Asami needed to just think, is this the worst decision she has ever made? Is she really this desperate? She tries not to dwell, but fuck did it confuse her. Is she really this person?

She didn't have much time to think things through because she was in Korra's apartment complex faster than she thought. The driver helped her get her suitcase and soon, she was walking up the stairs to Korra's apartment.

It was familiar walking up, but she never had felt this nervous going up these stairs.

Before knocking on the door labeled 153, she took a deep breath.

Once she did, Korra was quick to answer.

Nothing could have prepared Asami to see Korra again. She was still so beautiful, just looked a bit more mature. More like a woman, that teenage softness gone. She still had those gorgeous blue eyes that set Asami's heart aflame, the ones that Asami would wake up to all that time ago. Her physique seemed to have gotten better and stronger, somehow. She was already so perfect before.

"You cut your hair." It was a statement more than a question from Asami's part.

Korra's hands went up to her hair, "Oh, uh...yeah."

There's a tense few moments of awkwardness, even though Asami promised herself she wouldn't let any awkwardness happen.

"Can I come in?"

"Yeah! Sorry, of course." Korra opens the door, allowing Asami inside.

Everything is still pretty much the same. The decoration still minimal, a few plants scattered around the area. The creme, green, and white overtones in the main living area gave the apartment more of an earthy feel, the colors Asami had suggested. It was definitely lived in, there's a few books misplaced and clothes that probably shouldn't be where they are. There's a candle going on somewhere, giving the small, but more than comfortable, apartment a vanilla smell.

Asami takes the place in, she remembers how she would sit on the windowsill reading her books, waiting for Korra to come from her late night classes.

"Asami, I'm sorry," Korra's behind her, and she's clearly frustrated, "but what the fuck are you doing here?"

She turns away from the window and faces Korra.

"I-I don't know," Asami ran a hand through her hair, shifting her weight between feet, she needs to do what she came here to do and then go on with her life. Because afterwards, she will finally move on.

At least that's what she hopes.

"You came all the way from California to see your ex-girlfriend, but you don't know why?" She crosses her arms and looks away uncomfortably.

Asami does have an idea of why, but how can she explain it?

How can she explain that after all this time she's not over Korra? How Asami just wants to forgive and forget everything that happened those last few months and hopes Korra wants the same? How does she explain that she's the first thing on Asami's mind as soon as she wakes up and the last before she goes to sleep?

From their long distance relationship throughout most of high school, through the eight months they lived together when they finally graduated and went to the same university, it was constantly all on Asami's mind. No one could compare to Korra, her first love. Her first many things.

So much went wrong. So much. She fucked up, Korra fucked up, they both did. Bad. So why is it that after all that she thinks about is that no one will love her like Korra once did? How can she even explain that no one makes her feel like Korra did, no one feels like Korra. Even after what Korra did, she can't get over her. And quite frankly, Asami is tired of it. She never got closure like she needed it, that's why she's not over Korra. That's why she took a plane. To get closure, yes. That's what she needs, that’s why she’s here, she doesn't need to explain herself further than that.

"I want closure."

Korra laughs indignantly, "Ha! Now you want it?"

"Yes. What is so funny about that?" Asami crosses her arms and straightens up.

"Nothing. Just nothing." Korra takes a step closer and Asami can tell she's trying her best not to cry, "Actually. How do you want it? Want to talk all night until we're crying and not being able to breathe? God, fuck, Asami," She sighs and for some reason, that exhale sounds solemn, "I hurt you. I hurt you so bad, I hurt people because of being heartbroken about you. You being here now? It is _not_ healthy. For me or for you."

"I hurt you too, Korra. You aren't the only one at fault and you know that," Asami uncrosses her arms, "I've hurt so many people these past years too, because for some stupid fucking reason I keep comparing them to you. It makes me feel so sucky that I can't even _try_ to be romantically involved with someone because it hurts too much," She steps closer too, debating what to say, "It hurts because none of them are you."

Korra's palms go to her face, "This doesn't sound like closure. This is just going to make everything hurt worse. You being here is wrong and you know it. You saying those things is _wrong_." She snaps, but she's not yelling. She never yelled, especially not to Asami.

This was a mistake, Korra is absolutely right. What the hell was Asami thinking? Did she honestly believe that being here would help? How would sex even bring closure? What was her thought process when she thought about that? Asami Sato doesn't just do these types of things. She thinks things through, what the fuck is this?

 _God, I am so fucking stupid. Of course she wants me to leave her alone._ Asami thinks and looks away.

"I'm sorry for coming. This was a mistake." She turns toward her suitcase and starts going for the door, that is until a hand wraps around her wrist. She turns and looks down at Korra's hand.

"What do you want? What _closure_ can I give you?" Her voice is leveled. Asami used to hate when Korra was this calm when they would argue. Korra was always looking for an excuse to yell at anyone, to act rash. But, never towards Asami. It still shocked Asami how someone as hot-headed with other people, could remain so calm when talking to her.

Asami wasn't sure how to word the next sentence, because she wasn't sure anymore what she wanted.

She looked at Korra, really looked at her. Her brown shoulder length hair, her blue eyes, her soft brown skin, the beautiful shape of her lips and eyebrows, the way her arms flexed as she tightened and loosened her hold on Asami’s wrist.

Asami just wants her. She wants her so bad, maybe because it will be the last time, maybe because she believes one last time will let her move on. Even if she doesn't want to.

She steps forward and feels more than thinks as she presses her lips against Korra's.

And it's amazing, the feel of Korra's lips. Their softness, how even after nearly three years, they move the same, so familiarly. Those lips still have the same taste. Korra's hand has long left her wrist and is instead cupping her jaw. Their tongues clash and their lips move, and it feels amazing. It's fast and there's a sudden flash of lingering sadness in Asami's brain. She doesn't let it get to her, not when Korra bites her lower lip and then goes back to kiss her to feverishly. It's perfect, it all is.

For a second Asami forgets the past few years without her, because the way Korra's lower clothed back feels under Asami's hands, how warm the hands on her face are, it’s too good. Asami could kiss this woman forever, but you don't always get what you want.

Korra pulls away with a gasp, "Why w-would you do that?" She stammers and Asami decides not to point out how Korra kissed her back so passionately.

Asami doesn't hesitate, not after a kiss like that, "This is how I want closure. It isn't healthy, I know. But I don't care anymore, Korra." She cups Korra's face, "Please, one more time. I want to be with you, I want to do things we never got the chance to because of my selfishness, my shallowness, our mistakes."

Korra's expression is hard to read and she's struggling to maintain eye contact, "I never thought you were shallow. That was never what I meant, Asami."

Asami bites her lip and breathes, "I don't want to think about that argument. I want to know if you want this, if you don't, I'll just walk away. We can keep pretending we don't exist in each other's lives like we have been for the past years." That was a lie, Asami was always checking Korra's social media, even if she barely posted anywhere. She still very much existed in her life.

The silence in the air is tense, they're just looking at each other. Because they know this might be the worse mistake ever, or possibly the best.

She doesn't have time to dwell much, because Korra is kissing her. And this time it is full of want, fell of need. The sounds that escape Asami's throat should be embarrassing, but they're not. She loves how Korra makes her feel after all this time, how she makes her body react just with her lips. Korra's grip on Asami's waist is just what she needs, especially because the kiss is so hot that it's making her weak at the knees.

They're standing, in their once shared living room, kissing so hungrily, neither making a move to sit down.

Good, Asami doesn't want to sit down. She disconnects their lips, earning a whine from Korra which was soon replaced with a gasp as Asami moves toward her neck. Leaving open mouthed kisses everywhere available. Once she gets to Korra's collarbone she places a kiss then goes back to her throat, swiping up with her tongue all the way up to Korra's jawline.

"Ah, _fuck_." Korra's blunt nails dig into Asami's hips, her crop top leaving the area exposed.

Asami goes back in for a kiss, but it's only momentary. She leans back and places her hands on the hem of Korra's top.

"Can I...?" She questions.

"Yes."

After the confirmation from Korra, Asami pulls the shirt off. Korra's body is such a blessing, she can't help but run her fingertips across the woman's defined abdomen before going back to the hook of her bra. Korra's pants and gasps are clearly full of anticipation, Asami knows Korra's not usually one that likes going slow. But, she takes her time to take off the bra, kissing her softly as she does so. After it comes off, Asami massages her breasts.

She's always loved how perfectly shaped they were, warm and sizable. She tweaks a nipple between her thumb and forefinger, their lips disconnecting with a smack. She leans away, only to go down to one of Korra's breasts. Asami's tongue circles the brown hardened nipple before sucking it into her mouth. Korra's hands go to grip at her hair, causing her to groan.

She lightly sucks on the other one for a few seconds and slowly departs, starting to kneel as she maintains eye contact with Korra and places pecks down from Korra's sternum, to her abs, to just above the waistband of her black sweatpants. She pulls them down and off with the help of her once again lover. She places a kiss on Korra's blue underwear, which has been stained with a small spot of wetness. Korra's breathing becomes heavy when Asami starts pulling down on the underwear with her teeth.

"Holy shit, you look so fucking sexy." Korra practically moans her sentence and Asami can't help but shiver at the absolute need in her voice.

Once the underwear is to Korra's lower knees, she opts to use her hands to take it off the rest of the way. The sight of Korra's glistening cunt practically melts Asami's brain, she _needs_ to taste.

Her eyes linger there for a few moments and then she looks back at Korra's face.

"Do you want me?" She leans forward to once again kneel without sitting on her calves and places a kiss on Korra's lower belly.

"So much, Asami. I want you." Korra places a hand on her cheek and the look she gives Asami is too much for her to handle. As if there's way more to what she just said, so she looks away and back to her target.

She moves and does a broad lick at the wetness that had began to pool at Korra's entrance. Korra's legs spread wider, but the angle isn't the best. Asami doesn't want to stop being on her knees though, so she grabs onto Korra's thigh and throws the leg over her shoulder. She licks again at her entrance, but this time swipes up to suck her lover's clit into her mouth.

"Mmm! Fuckfuck!" Korra's grip on her hair gets a little tighter, but it doesn't matter to her at all.

Asami is still completely clothed, but she's not in the right mind to care. Not when Korra is grinding on her face like she is right now. Not when she's getting to taste this again. And god, is it an amazing taste. No one could compare to how good Korra tastes, so sweet yet strong.

She parts momentarily earning a groan, "I missed this, you taste amazing."

She dives her tongue back in Korra's entrance, swirling it around to drive more of those sweet sounds out of her mouth and get more of that taste. Asami is gripping for dear life onto Korra, one hand was on the thigh that rests over her shoulder and the other one cupping Korra's ass. Korra had managed to push her back so that she was sitting on her calves once again just so she can grind properly. Asami's neck strained, but she was too far into this to care. She starts experimenting with her tongue, different patterns and speeds to see what drives Korra crazy right now. She hits a spot that is particularly sensitive, getting a loud moan from Korra.

"Oh! Fuck, yes, Asami. Good girl."

The pet name spurs Asami on so she takes her lover's clit back in her mouth and sucks harshly. Wetness is spilling down to her chin and the hold on Korra's leg gets even stronger. Her gaze is set upwards, to get a look at Korra as she gets closer to the edge. She won't ever forget how good Korra looks when she's coming, how beautifully she sounds. She's looking down at Asami with her eyes half-open, her mouth wide as moans spilled out of it, her abs contracting.

Her legs begin shaking and Asami knows she needs just a bit more to come, so uses her middle and ring fingers to get inside Korra. Her wet heat lubricating the intrusion instantly.

" _Fuck!_ I-I'm so fucking close, baby, oh my god." Korra moans and throws her head back. Asami ignores the pet name, it hurts too much to think about and she likes it way more than she could handle, so she curls her fingers against the throbbing, ridged wall a few times, and it is definitely enough for Korra. She comes with a few groans and shakes, wetness spilling down to Asami's palm.

After slowing harsh sucks to calm swipes of her tongue, she pulls out gently.

Korra takes a few moments to come down from orgasmic bliss and Asami places her leg back down, looking up at the beautiful woman.

"Come here." Korra drives her up gently by her hair and pulls Asami into her lips. Asami's hands come to her forearms as they kiss, their tongues swirling slowly. They continue like this until Korra lets go of her hair and moves her hands to pull her up by her thighs. Asami's legs instinctively wrap around her waist.

She adored when Korra picked her up as if she was weightless, it turned her on to no end. There was no comparing how she made Asami feel.

Asami was vaguely aware of her back hitting the kitchen island and being dropped to her feet once again, too invested in their make out to think much until it happened.

Korra pulls away and that look in her eyes is enough to send another rush of wetness to Asami's panties.

"I'm taking these jeans off you and fucking you until you can't think anymore." She says through gritted teeth, just inches away from Asami's face as her fingers begin toying with the button.

" _God_ , fuck yes, Korra please." She begs as Korra starts zipping down her fly. Although her jeans fit her perfectly, she's starting to feel like they are constricting her from what she needs so badly. She starts pulling them down herself because Korra is going way too slow for some reason and she's needy right now.

Korra chuckles as she pulls her hands away, watching as Asami took off her skinny jeans, "You that desperate, huh? Need my tongue that bad?"

Asami whimpers and bites her lip, nodding frantically. She's about to move her feet to take off the offensive material, when she's suddenly being turned around and bent over the counter. She almost loses her balance with the jeans still at her ankles.

"You'll get you want, baby." Korra presses her bare breasts against her back, kissing her shoulder as her fingers start rubbing her through her panties, almost immediately causing to Asami keen, she needs so much more.

" _Ohhh_...please, please." Asami shifts her hips backwards, wanting Korra to just fuck her already.

She needs this so bad. She doesn't even know how it will give her closure anymore, how the hell can she ever walk away from this again? It’s too good. Nothing makes sense in her head anymore, just that she needs Korra to do something. Anything.

Korra's teasing her, swiping those strong fingers up and down her lower lips without giving her any pleasure. That is, until she moves her panties to her thighs and starts making very delicate circles on Asami's clit.

" _Yesss._ " Asami hisses out the word, one hand gripping at the edge of the counter as the movements start getting faster and stronger. Korra isn't pressing against her anymore and although she misses her warmth, she does not question it, her brain being too fuzzy to do so.

If it weren't for the counter holding Asami up as she bent over, she would have fallen to the floor when she felt a warm tongue prod at her entrance then began swirling around the ring of muscle. She immediately lets out a loud moan that grows into frantic pants as Korra starts eating her out with no shame at all. This is so much better than she remembers, Korra's gotten better, impossibly so. Asami tries not to think about how Korra definitely had been experimenting.

The warm, wet muscle made different patterns on Asami's cunt and they were all perfect for her, but the one she loved was when Korra would just widen her tongue and shake her head, making it so that all of Asami's pussy was just surrendered to her tongue.

Her mouth had fallen open, crying out in a way that only Korra made her do.

Korra's masterful tongue moves toward her clit and Asami screams when Korra nips it lightly before taking it in a harsh suck.

"God! K-Korra, don't fucking stop. Please, oh my god you're s-so good." Asami is half-aware of her voice sounding so sultry and desperate.

Her lover moves her hands from where they had been gripping Asami's ass to the expanse of her back, scratching lightly as she moved downwards.

 _Yesyesyes mark me please._ Asami's eyes roll to the back of her head at the sensation paired with the way her throbbing clit was being paid attention to so amazingly.

Then, Korra slaps her ass harshly, causing a guttural moan from Asami, before going back on the tight grip that just made her get impossibly closer to Korra's wet muscle. When Korra slaps her with just one hand this time before heading back to that widened tongue move, she starts coming.

It was unexpected and at the same time it wasn't. It's as if heat is blossoming all throughout Asami's core as she shakes and grips onto the counter for dear life.

"I'm coming! _Fuckfuckfuck_ , Korra." She knows she must sound a mess, and that she's certainly made one on Korra's face. It doesn't bother her one bit. After a few moments she winds down, breathing hard against the counter. Her orgasm had felt so good, but left her so sensitive that when Korra licked up and down on her clit fondly, her body jerked.

If she comes this hard with Korra's tongue, how will she come when she brings up the _thing_ Korra will absolutely love?

Once Korra moves away and Asami feels her standing up straight, her pelvis hitting Asami's ass, she stands herself. She turns her head and immediately Korra places a gentle kiss closed-mouth kiss, one that is too soft for the situation they are in right now. As if they were still together, as if nothing bad had ever happened. The thought clenches at her heart and she pulls away, looking away from Korra.

She feels tears brimming at her eyes at the sudden hit of reality. Asami clenches her jaw and furrows her eyebrows, none of it was fair.

"Beautiful," Korra's favorite pet name for her is being said right at her ear, "Are you okay?" She kisses the side of Asami's neck and places her hands on the counter, on either side of Asami's torso. She must have sensed how Asami's mood shifted. She was always good at that.

Asami nods and tries her best to not make a big deal out of swiping the tears away.

"Can we move to the bed?"

Korra chooses to ignore Asami avoiding her question, but Asami doesn't miss the harsh exhale, "Of course."

She turns around to face Korra and pecks her, moving on to removing her jeans and panties all the way. Korra begins to walk toward the bedroom as Asami follows her. She still has her top on so Korra doesn't know what's changed.

Once they get to their once shared bedroom, Asami takes it in. She always really liked this room, but they barely got the chance to be in it together when she had finally moved Miami to be with Korra. At first, it was all really good. They were finally together after years in high school being separated due to the distance and each of their parents not trusting the other due to them meeting over the internet, they’d only seen each other twice before that. They would cuddle every minute of every day, fuck on almost every surface available, help each other out with homework, take the other one out on dates.

When out of nowhere, everything started feeling wrong for Asami. It was mostly her mental health problems, family issues. But she blamed Korra for all of it, even if she was never at fault. She used those pesky thoughts about how Korra made her move away from home to ignore her actual underlying issues even though it wasn't true at all. Their arguments started getting more frequent about exes, insecurities, alcohol...other things. They'd started sleeping separately at one point.

Asami had started distancing herself without even noticing how much Korra was struggling because of how closed off she was being. Korra started hanging out with people Asami did not like at all, did not trust. But, she decided to keep that to herself, bottle it up. Korra could be friends with anyone, it was one of her business.

One day, almost three years ago, those friends had come over. It was a group of six, and quite frankly Asami was too tired to deal with them or join, so she opted for the guest bedroom, where she had slept the past two months, and took a nap. Cheering and loud hollering woke her up hours later. Without a care in the world she got up and into the living room.

Nothing could have prepared her for seeing Korra in her bra with a girl grinding on her lap as they made out like they had been wanting to for years in front of all her stupid new friends.

"Do you want to continue? You look like you..." Korra started speaking and Asami lets those memories fade away, "don't want to anymore."

Asami had been just staring at the bed for god knows how long. She turns around and kisses Korra, she doesn't want this to stop. No matter how much it's hurting her right now.

Her hands grip at Korra's hair as she pulls them backwards to the bed. When the back of her knees hit the queen sized mattress, she began propping herself up. She's moaning into Korra's mouth, the kiss has become a little bit rougher. Nothing but fast movements with their tongues, teeth, and lips. Once they have reached the middle of the bed, she flips them over so that she's on Korra's lap. Her fingernails scratch Korra's scalp as she grips tightly, her teeth bite where she can. She doesn't disconnect their lips until...

"Ow! Fuck!" Korra groans and pushes Asami away carefully. Asami's eyebrows scrunch in confusion, until she sees blood on Korra's lip.

"Oh!" Asami's hand flies to her mouth, "Shit, I am so sorry Korra!" She looks around and sees a box of tissue on the nightstand. She gets off Korra's lap slightly and reaches for it.

"It's okay." Korra chuckles and takes a tissue to clean her lip, "I'm not usually into any blood while having sex, thought you would remember my kinks."

Asami rolls her eyes and finds herself smiling, "Whatever. Sorry, Korra. I didn't mean to do that at all." She says sincerely as Korra moves to throw the tissue in the trashcan.

Her lip is still very red, but there is no blood, "It's okay, lov-," Korra's eyes widen at what she was about to call Asami and so do Asami's, "Babe. It's okay, babe. J-just keep the biting a little more gentle."

Asami decides to ignore Korra's bad save and nods. She leans down and kisses Korra while shifting her hips to straddle one of Korra's thighs. The taste of Korra has a lingering metallic taste, but there's not much she can do about that. She cups Korra's jaw and begins a slow movement, her throbbing clit hitting just right with every grind of her hips. Asami moves away from Korra's full, soft lips and finally goes to take off her shirt, the last piece of clothing.

She makes a show of crossing her arms at the hem and pulling it off, exposing her breasts after she does so. Asami barely wears bras anymore, she never really needed them, it's not like her breasts were so big that they almost always needed a bra.

Korra swallows, "You got them pierced."

The coloring that reaches Asami's cheeks from bashfulness must be incredible, because her face starts feeling warm.

"Yes, I did."

Then, Korra smiles and leans up to sit properly, "I always told you, you had the perfect tits for them. I was so right. They look incredible on you," Asami doesn’t mention she got them while thinking of her. Korra places a kiss on one of them, earning a gasp from Asami, "Do they hurt if I suck on them?" She asks and nips the tip of Asami's right nipple.

" _Ahhh_. I-I... no, but they're extremely sensitive. Even more so than before." She responds, spurring Korra on with tugs on short brown locks.

Korra laughs quietly, "Remember when I made you come with _just_ nipple play? God, that was so hot. It was funny when you got all embarrassed."

Asami's face somehow reddens further at the memory, "It _was_ embarrassing."

"Nah. It was sexy, you're so fucking sexy." With that, Korra pulls a pink nipple into her mouth and immediately Asami's back arches like a bow. She picks up her grinding on Korra's thigh and presses her knee against Korra's cunt, "That's right. Fuck yourself against my thigh until you come."

Asami moans and nods, but shifts her leg and pushes Korra down, "You too."

Korra hums and begins grinding in time with Asami. They continue like this for a while. Grinding on each other's thighs while Korra switches between breasts, sucking, biting, leaving marks where she can. Asami's moaning like a mad woman and Korra is too, except hers are muffled because of her mouth being severely occupied. After a few long moments of just soft grinding, their movements become faster and rougher, Korra's hips have long left the mattress as she picks up a pace, possibly wanting as much friction as possible.

She's grabbing on to Asami's hips, Asami is grabbing on to her shoulders and hair. Whoever lives next to Korra probably hates her right now, but it doesn't matter. Not when her clit is throbbing the way it is right now, not when Korra is spilling on her thigh.

"Shit, I'm gonna come." Korra pants, pulling away from Asami's breasts and throwing her head back. Asami pushes her hips down back on the bed and bites the base of her throat as she gets close too.

Her orgasm rushes through her and it's even better than the one before, it feels so good to rub herself against Korra as she rides her orgasm. It feels even better to watch as Korra's eyes tightly close, as her breasts move, as her abs clench. They come together and after a while, they're just catching their breaths. Asami's palms placed firmly on Korra's chest, Korra making light patterns on her hips as she opens her eyes.

"T-that was really good." Asami admits after a while and Korra chuckles.

"Yeah it was."

Asami smiles and gets off Korra's thigh, laying next to her. They watch the ceiling together quietly, still catching their breaths. Asami looks to her side, watching Korra's side profile. Her upturned nose, her defined jawline, the long eyelashes that curtained her impossibly blue eyes.

"What?" Korra must have felt the staring, because she turns her head to the side.

Asami shakes her head, "I um, brought something. We never got to trying it, but it's something we'd always talk about."

There's confusion in Korra's face as she raises an eyebrow, "What is it?"

"It's in my suitcase, hold on." Asami gets up and scrambles toward the living room once again.

She drops to her knees and opens the suitcase, scrummaging through the messy unorganized clothing. Asami was never really an organized person, life is too rushed and complicated to make time to keep things orderly all the time.

After checking through multiple areas she finally feels the hardness she's searching for. She searches for it and finally gets the red strap-on. She smiles and walks back to the bedroom with it in hand.

Korra is scrolling on her phone and immediately puts it away when Asami comes back in. Her jaw drops almost comically at the sight of the shaft.

"You got a strap?"

"Well, duhhh," Asami rolls her eyes and shuffles on the bed, "Remember when we were horny teenagers constantly talking about using this on each other?" Korra nods and bites her lip, "Well, when I, um, moved here...we just never got around to it."

She looks down at the longer and thicker than necessary red dildo, thinking how it would feel to get stretched by it or watching Korra get stretched. She traces a fake vein with her finger tip as it laid on her lap.

Korra laughs for a second, "How'd you get that through TSA?"

"Actually, I just wrapped it up in a bunch of sweaters and inside a plastic bag so it wasn't difficult. But, the guy that checked the bags looked at me like 'this horny bitch.'" She mimicked his expression, causing Korra to laugh greatly. She really missed that sound.

After winding down, Korra asks, "Do you want to use it on me or me on you?"

"I don't really mind, what do you want?" Asami shrugged, sincerity in her voice.

"I want to fuck you with it." Korra says, looking down at the dildo and grabbing it. Asami bites her lip. Korra may have her insecurities, but she was always so sure of herself and confident when it came to sex, "Can I be rough?"

 _God yes,_ "Yeah, of course."

"Can we have a safe word?"

Asami nods and thinks for a second, "How about 'sushi'?"

Korra smiles and rolls her eyes, "Sushi it is."

She watches as Korra hoists it up her legs, lifting her hips to do so. The sight of the dildo bobbing is kind of comical and she can't help but giggle.

"What's so funny?" Korra asks as she tightens the straps in place.

Asami's laugh stops at Korra's serious tone, "S-sorry it just looked so...strange that it was funny."

"You won't be laughing with my cock down your throat," Korra pulls on her wrist to drive her closer and Asami gulps, because for some incredibly strange reason listening to Korra refer to it like that drove her crazy. She drives Asami down for strong, short kiss, "Come on, suck me."

Asami nods and positions herself in between Korra's legs. She really takes in the size of the dildo now, it's bigger than what she's taken before, but she doesn't let intimidate her. She licks her palm, enjoying how Korra's expression grows with arousal, then swipes the dildo up and down with her fist wrapped around its girth. Korra groans and Asami wonders if she can feel it, before she can ask Korra answers for her.

"Fuck, it's...mmm, rubbing against my clit. It's really good." She speaks breathlessly.

Enjoying the confirmation Asami smiles, then leans and wraps her lips around the tip, swirling her tongue as she continues her movements at the base. Asami is mostly doing this for herself, she enjoys this way more than she would ever admit. With her free hand, she encourages Korra to grab her hair.

"Fuck my throat." She says before going back down.

Korra very kindly accepts the request. Both hands go to her hair, tangling them in the long locks, pushing Asami's head down until more than half of it is in her. Asami breathes through her nose and lets Korra guide her, the tip was nearly hitting the back of her throat, but she held back her gags. She was enjoying how Korra groaned way too much to care about herself. She let her mouth be used thoroughly as Korra kept bobbing her head up and down, getting to the middle and back at the tip.

The scene must be so obscene, spit was falling out her mouth and coating the dildo everywhere. Suddenly, Korra pushed her down to the base causing her to choke and her nails to grip at Korra's hips.

"You look so pretty taking my cock in your mouth like this." Asami shut her eyes and hummed, then began breathing through her nose as best as she could, "Look at me, slut."

Asami whimpered at the name and looked up at Korra with much strain while her throat was being used. Korra stroked her cheek with her thumb before letting her go back to just the half of it.

"Okay. Shit. Enough of that." Korra pulled her off and Asami starts panting, her chest heaving as she kneeled between Korra's toned legs, "I want to try something. Get off the bed."

The order was quickly obeyed, Asami getting to her feet in an instant. Korra got off too and wrapped her hand around Asami's forearm. She let herself be guided the corner of the room, where a mirror was placed.

Korra stood behind her and got close until her cock was rubbing through Asami's lips, but never entering her. Her breasts pressed against Asami's back, their eyes connecting through the mirror.

"How bad do you want my cock inside you?" She asked with a particularly strong stroke that hit Asami's clit.

"S-so bad. Please I want you inside me, _pleasepleaseplease_ , I'll do anything." Her gaze bores into Korra's eyes, who simply nods in approval.

Suddenly, she had shifted back and the dildo was prodding at her tight, severely wet entrance. Korra starts bending Asami down and spreads her legs with a nudge of her knee. The first couple of inches go inside Asami and she gasps, praying for more through soft little whispers of _'more'_ and _'please'_.

Korra opts to grab Asami's arms, crossing them behind her back as she pushes inside further. It's so slow, and Asami wants it fast. But, she's definitely not in the right mind to ask as she looks at herself in the mirror, her eyes could barely keep open and the slight bit of red lipstick left was at the corner of her mouth. She looks up at Korra and practically begs to hurry up.

She does hurry up, because unexpectedly, she thrusts the heavy, thick dildo inside her completely. To the base.

" _Ahhh_! Korra! _Fuckkkkk_." Asami closes her eyes and starts gasping for breath as Korra starts picking up a pace.

It was a little gentle for a few moments, but the thrusts started getting rougher. Almost selfish. Korra's cock is filling her and it's amazing, the best thing she's felt in a really long time. Korra is hitting so many sweet spots inside of her, she feels how her wetness goes all the way to her inner thighs as Korra keeps switching between different speeds and angles. There is no way Korra hasn't done this before, and although the thought enrages her, she's glad she gets to experience it now. The way Korra's gripping on to her hips, her selfish rut, it's too incredible.

Her moans are almost unrecognizable to Asami, and her eyes are so tightly shut she swears she's starting to see stars.

"Open your eyes." Korra practically snarls as her hips hit Asami's ass and then just stops her thrusts. Her cock is filling Asami to the brink, everything is fuzzy, but she manages to follow the order, "Look at yourself. Has anyone else fucked you this good that they made you look like such a slut?" She punctuates by sliding back and then back inside sharply. "Answer."

Asami swallows, everything feels too amazing, "N-no! Only you."

"Good girl." She lets her arms go and pulls Asami up using a hand around her throat. She starts thrusting again and Asami starts feeling her orgasm come on as the dildo hit her incredibly deep, "Do you wanna come?"

Asami nods, and nearly screams when Korra pulls out.

"Go back inside, Korra, oh my god please." Asami moans out, but Korra ignores her, pulling her back to the bed.

She pushes her and Asami practically plops into the bed face first. Korra goes inside without much warning, but Asami is so wet and stretched that it doesn't hurt at all when Korra slams inside her. Asami grips the bedsheets for dear life and her eyes roll to the back of her head. Korra's grunts are turning her on even further, if that is even possible anymore. Her thrusts are almost animalistic and the orgasm Asami was denied before is coming back so hard and fast that it made her dizzy.

Korra gripped her hips and pulled Asami up, lifting her ass up and hitting Asami in a new, exquisite angle.

"Oh fuck! I'm gonna come, Korra!" Asami screams and one of Korra's hands slaps down on her ass roughly, enticing Asami faster towards her orgasm.

"Come for me, Asami." Korra snakes a hand around towards her clit and at the first rub, it sets her off.

This time, the orgasm rushes through her whole body and it's definitely longer than the previous ones. She pants against the bed and her teeth grab at the comforter, muffling her grunts and moans. Korra's movements have slowed significantly, most likely because the muscles of Asami's pussy were so tight that she was unable to gain much traction. Eventually, Asami's orgasm subsides and she's left a sweaty, breathless mess.

"You want to stop, baby?" Korra asks, pressing a kiss to her shoulder while still inside, but not moving. It's pretty clear she doesn't want to stop.

Somehow, Asami finds the strength for one more round, "Can we do it facing each other?"

Korra pulls out slowly and signals Asami to turn around with a tap on her hip. She follows through and scoots further up the bed, with Korra still standing.

It wasn't even funny seeing Korra with a red 9 inch dildo between her legs anymore, it was just incredibly sexy. Korra moved and placed herself properly before sliding inside, with Asami's orgasm leaving her indescribably wet, it was way easier and faster. Korra thrusted and Asami moaned loudly, she was so sensitive right now that even the most gentlest of movements threatened to throw her into an orgasm. Her hands moved at their own accord to Korra's waist, her thumbs tracing the outer lines of her abs.

"You feel really good." She managed to say through Korra's grinding.

"And you look gorgeous." Korra said sincerely.

Asami was sure she saw a tear in Korra's eye, but she didn't get to address it because Korra leaned down to kiss her, basically just tongues and moans this time, then moved away to kiss at her neck. Biting, sucking, licking everywhere available as her pace starts picking up. Asami wraps her legs around Korra's waist. They are both incredibly hot and sweaty at this point, but it feels so great having Korra's warmth on her right now. Korra hits a spot that makes Asami throw her head back.

" _Mmm_ , so so good," Her mouth falls open and Korra bites her earlobe, sending shivers down her spine. Korra's being so great, and this time she can't hold back a certain name that she knows drives Korra crazy, " _Daddy_ , you f-fuck me so good."

Korra stops sucking on her neck and her grip on Asami's hips tightens, as her own stop moving, "Fuck, call me that shit again." She backs away and puts her hands on Asami's jaw.

Asami grins with teeth and all, "You feel so good inside of me. Did you know that? You fuck my pussy so good, daddy."

"Shit, fuck." Korra curses and her hips start moving at their own accord. Bottoming out inside of Asami in an instant. Asami's eyes cross and she feels a thumb come up to her lip. She immediately takes it in her mouth and wraps her legs around Korra's back, her heels digging into her ass.

"Mmmmm! Oh Korra!" Her moans are muffled and her eyebrows scrunch. Asami's breasts are bouncing as Korra fucks her hard. Korra pulls out her thumb to glide it on Asami's clit, which makes her body jerk, she's so fucking close, "Slap my face."

"Y-you sure?" Korra stammers and until now Asami had honestly forgotten how the strap was rubbing her clit earlier and was most likely hitting Korra right this instant.

"Please daddy, it will help me come for you faster." Asami pleads and Korra nods.

In the next second, there's a sting on Asami's face. She loves being slapped in bed and Korra does it with just the right amount of strength. She's never been afraid of being rough with Asami, and that is truly a blessing. Asami gets tired of being treated gently as if she's some dainty little thing.

"Again, harder." Asami says through gritted teeth and once again, Korra's palm is on her cheek with even more strength. Asami's head nearly swings to the side, but she keeps a firm hold. Wanting to look at Korra as she came. The second slap does just that, it drives Asami to come. It's not as strong as the previous ones, being too spent to do anything stronger, but she still shakes and has to hold on to Korra's shoulders for dear life.

Korra comes along with her and not once stopped her selfish thrusting. They took a few moments to wind down and once they did, Korra fell on Asami after giving her a close-mouthed kiss.

Their chests were rising and going back down, the only sound in the air just their breathing instead of skin slapping skin.

Asami wraps her arms around Korra's neck, "W-we should shower. I'm too tired to go on."

"Yeah, me too. Hold on." She leans back and pulls out, making Asami sigh in relief. It was good at the moment, but now the stretch is a bit of a pain as she realizes how sore she really is.

"I'm gonna shower in the main bathroom, you can do it here." Korra speaks as she takes the strap off.

Asami's disappointed, but doesn't complain, "Okay."

Korra turns away and places the red dildo on top of a drawer then clears her throat, "You staying here?"

Asami hadn't gotten a hotel, even though she really should have, "If that's okay with you...?" She lets the question hang in the air as she sits up. She watched Korra's back as she ran a hand through her hair.

"Yup, that's fine. Gonna assume you wanna sleep in the guest bedroom." She says coldly.

_Ouch._

"No. I want to sleep with you." Asami says firmly and stands up. Korra is beginning to get on her nerves, so she opts to walk away to get her suitcase. As soon as she makes the first step, it is even more painfully obvious she's sore. She should've gotten a smaller strap-on, "Fuck," She hisses.

Korra turns around, "Are you alright? Did I hurt you?"

 _More so emotionally than physically, yes._ Asami thinks, but doesn't say.

"No, I'm okay. It's just, it was bigger than I thought..." Asami shakes her head.

"Just sit down, I'll get the clothes from your suitcase." Korra helps Asami on the bed then walks away.

They were definitely back in reality now. Asami isn't sure how she feels anymore, this definitely didn't give her closure. Now, even more so than before, she wants to stay. Korra broke her heart. Completely. Yet, she loves Korra. So much that even after countless one night stands, even just _trying_ to get into new relationships, she's still back here. So much that after her father passed away a year ago, the first person she wanted to call was Korra. Korra hadn't even reached out to her. Perhaps she had not heard about what happened.

Asami knows Korra isn't completely to blame for their breakup. Maybe that's why she came back here. She wants to make things right, at least for her part in what went wrong. But it's painfully obvious Korra wants her out of her life already.

"I got these, not sure if they're alright," Korra places a top, bikini panties, and pijama shorts next to her.

"They're fine, thanks."

"You should really organize your suitcase. It's a mess, you gotta learn how t-"

"You do it if you want to so badly," Asami interrupts and stands, ignoring the pain she feels at her center as she storms away. She heads to the bathroom and closes the door behind her, perhaps a bit harder than she intends to.

She breathes and lets her thoughts just flow as she headed to the shower.

*********

Asami lays in bed, Korra is still showering, so she just waits. She's tired, but wants to make sure Korra will actually sleep with her. She put her phone to charge after checking with the interim CEO she had assigned to take over while she's in Miami the next two weeks.

After a while, the door opens and Korra walks inside, drying her hair with a towel. Without a word, she hangs the towel, turns off the lamp and lays next to Asami, under the comforter. Not making a move to get closer, she just turns the other side.

Asami groans loudly and turns away too.

_Fuck her, then._

"Sushi."

"What?" Asami's not sure if she's heard right, what does Korra mean?

She feels shuffling and then Korra's arm wraps around her waist, pulling Asami flush to her front, "I'm calling the safe word. Let's just stop and pretend we aren't angry, or whatever it is we are. Let's pretend we're happy and normal."

"I'm not angry." Asami tries and fails to swallow away the lump in her throat as she starts tracing her fingernails on Korra's arm.

"Whatever it is, let's stop. For tonight." Korra breath is against Asami's neck as she speaks.

"Okay."

"Goodnight, Asami."

"Goodnight."

* * *

The sun is hitting Asami right in the eyes as she starts waking up, she instantly has to look away and push her head into the pillow. She extends her hand and feels for Korra, but she's nowhere to be found. Asami lifts her head up through her haze and confirms Korra isn't in the room. Her eyes scrunch as she reaches and checks her phone for the time, _**10:49 am.**_ She almost slept through the morning. Asami gets up and stretches, heading to the bathroom to brush her teeth. After she's done with her small routine, she heads toward the kitchen.

Korra is there, her hands interlocked and placed on the kitchen island, her leg bouncing up and down with no abandon. She has a solemn expression, her eyes downcast.

"Korra?" Asami calls, "Are you okay?"

"No."

Asami's eyebrows scrunch as she walks over, "What's wrong?" She goes to place a hand on her bicep, but Korra moves away.

"Don't touch me. Why would you have sex with me, man? Now I'm spiraling in my head. You have no idea how hard it's been for me to get you out of my mind and you do that? God," She laughs and shakes her head, "You just love that I'm never going to say no to you, don't you? You love that you have some backup. To use when you're feeling down."

"Excuse me?" Asami crosses her arms.

"That came out wrong," Korra starts, but Asami's already fired up.

"I can't believe you think of me that fucking low." Asami shakes her head and laughs darkly, "Ha! Never mind, yes I can. You have always thought I was nothing but some fucking shallow, bitchy, selfish rich girl." Asami knows she's not being logical, that she should just walk away until Korra calms down, but she can't help pushing.

"Oh, you know that is _never_ what I meant. You put words in my mouth to fit whatever narrative you had in your head of me," Korra stands from the high chair, "You twisted around what I said so you had an excuse to push me away further when I needed you the most. I was telling you my insecurities, yet you managed to turn it around on me."

"I pushed you away because you started hanging out with those fucking idiots." Asami raises her voice, not wanting to mention the other part anymore, the argument that had fucked her up.

"You were pushing me away long before that!" Korra is yelling and Asami can feel how tears are already threatening to spill, she's never heard Korra talking to her that way, "Y-you were always finding excuses not to be home, not to go on dates, not to have sex, not to sleep in the same fucking bed and I didn't know what to do! I needed new friends because I had no one! You were acting like you hated the thought of me. It was like, like," She pauses and calms down slightly, "There was more distance between us than when we were living 3,000 miles away and could only see each other on the phone."

Asami can feel as her heart breaks. She just wants to go back to last night. She tries to think of what to say, "Korra." Is all that comes out as she reaches for her forearm.

Once again, she retracts, "Don't touch me right now, Asami. I'm serious."

Asami pulls her hand back, "I'm sorry. I won't."

Silence fills the room as Asami tries to think of the right thing to say, for some stupid fucking reason she starts crying. Why does she cry out of frustration? She wipes the tears away before Korra notices, her eyes covered by her palms.

"I was going through so much."

"I know you were, Asami. And I was trying to get you to talk to me about it and you never did, you just told me you were fine. And when I pushed you'd tell me to fuck off." Korra crosses her arms and her eyes are puffy.

Asami remembers how she acted towards Korra and tries not to cringe, "I'm sorry about that."

"What was going on you acted like that?"

"It's stupid."

"Asami, I'm begging you. If you want closure, I want it too and if yesterday was how you got it, this is it for me. Please." Korra is clearly hurting, her voice shaky.

Looking up at the ceiling, Asami scratches her arms uncomfortably, "I wanted to relapse so bad. Every day, every minute, I wanted to. I wish I knew why, I wish I knew why I would want to hurt myself when I was finally in the best place of my life."

Tears are falling freely and it feels like someone is choking her.

"Why didn't you tell me that?" Korra's voice is broken.

"Because! How the fuck is it fair to you?!" Asami snaps and looks at Korra, "For fuck's sake, we spent years dreaming of living together, being with each other, and then we get to it and all I can think about is how I want to fucking do that shit to myself. What kind of ungrateful, selfish person am I?!" Everything hurts so much, she shouldn't have come here, "H-how can someone be addicted to hurting themselves that they can't even enjoy being with the person they love the most without hurting themselves?"

"Asami, it's not selfish at all. People get urges. You've been struggling with self-harm since middle school, recovery isn't a one day process, I know that better than anyone."

Asami remembers the bus accident Korra was in junior year in high school, the one that left Korra in a coma for months, when Korra wasn't able to walk for seven months. It was the first time she ever saw Korra, after begging her father to take her to Florida through tears after finding out through Korra’s friend weeks after the accident happened. Seeing Korra hooked up to all those machines is an image that still makes Asami nauseous. She couldn't even stay for when she woke up or her recovery, she had school and her father only let her go for a week.

"But, you should have talked to me about it. I know this is selfish, but you should have told me. You should have trusted I would have done anything to help you." Korra gives Asami a look that tugs at her heart almost impossibly.

"It isn't your responsibility and it's a little late for that. I fucked up by not telling you what was going on with me." Asami wipes her cheeks for 100th time that morning.

"I know it's not my responsibility, but I would have helped." Korra sighs and stays quiet for a moment, pensive. "D-did I do or say something that made you want to do that?"

Asami's eyes widen and she shakes her head, "God no, not at all. I-I just... college was not what I was expecting at all, I always thought I was genius, but I went to that school and I felt so stupid. People were such mean, racist, assholes, but I guess that's what happens when you go to such a pretentious one.

Dad was on my ass, telling me how stupid I was for leaving because of a girl when there were so many better options according to him. He was disappointed and saying he wished he had a son. It was just so many things, stupid little things, that were supposed to be insignificant, but I am just so weak that everything seemed so horrible."

"Hey," Korra cups her cheeks, "You aren't weak at all, you're one of the strongest people I know, you are such an inspiration of mine,” Asami almost laughed at that, because Korra's always been her inspiration, "I wish you would have told me about college, I would have done my best to help you. And you never said that stuff about your dad. I feel like he never liked me, still doesn't probably."

Asami looks away and swallows, "He's dead, so who cares?" She says darkly and shrugs.

Pulling her hands away from her face Korra stammers out, "W-what?"

"Yeah, didn't you hear? 'Hiroshi Sato dies of a heart attack in his Sato Industries office. Asami Sato takes over his place, most likely disappointing him from hell!'" She laughs then realizes how dark that was.

"That wasn't funny..." Korra speaks.

"Oh come on! You can laugh too, it's funny." It really isn't, but if she doesn't make a joke she'll start crying even harder.

A quiet fills the air once again. Korra reaches for her hand, "I wish you would have reached out to me, but I understand that you didn't."

"I thought about it," Asami runs her thumb through Korra's knuckles, "Can we sit down?"

Korra nods and hand in hand, they sit on the couch.

"So that was why you barely talked to me anymore by the end of our relationship? The relapsing stuff?" Korra asks and lets go of her hand.

"Yeah...I just felt like such a burden and I would have hated seeing you blame yourself, because you always did that even if things weren't your fault," Asami was way calmer now, but was still crying, "Which you ended up doing anyway. Is that why you started hanging out with those people? Were you blaming yourself for how I was?"

"How couldn't I blame myself? I thought I had done something bad," Korra leans forward with her elbows on her knees, "That's why I started hanging out with those guys. I just needed to stop feeling so down and have so many intrusive thoughts about us and myself. The excessive weed, the coke, the alcohol, it made me forget about how my girlfriend hated me, how insecure I was about my scars, how insecure I was about your ex, how my parents were on me about dating a girl. It made me forget. That's why I was with them so often."

Asami nods in understanding, placing a hand on Korra’s forearm, “I hope you know I never cared about those scars. They’re part of you and I never ignore them, but they slip my mind often. They never cloud how much I absolutely worship your body.”

”The same goes for yours, always. I adore your body, every part of it. Even if you hate them, I know that you’ve accepted them and so have I.” Korra looks down at Asami’s left wrist, causing Asami to do so herself.

The white lines that line her whole arm up and down are definitely not fading any time soon, but it’s true what Korra said, she’s accepted them long ago.

Asami nods, "And I never hated you, but I hated when you came here drunk or high. Because I knew I was part of it, I was the on-"

Korra interrupts, "I was very much conscious while choosing to do those things. There's no one to blame on that but me."

"Did you start depending on them after I left?" Asami hated the question immediately after it came out of her mouth.

"No, not really. I know how to control myself when it comes to those things, but I did start using often." Korra scratches the back of her neck, most likely remembering those moments.

"This a conversation we should have had years ago...we could have avoided a lot of heartbreak." Asami speaks honestly, leaning back against the couch, the same couch she had seen Korra and that girl. She suddenly felt gross and sat up again.

Korra watches as she does this, "I stopped talking to her. All of them, I have some great, way better friends now."

Asami nods and bites her lip, genuinely happy to hear that, "Why did you kiss her?"

The sigh that falls out of Korra's mouth is shaky, "We'd had the really bad argument. I know you remember that one, you keep bringing it up." Korra smiles sadly and shakes her head, "That shit broke my heart, I couldn't stop crying all night."

"Me either." Asami admitted.

"I was just so fucking stoned and you were showering. Your phone goes off and I take it, I see that fucking name and it throws me off," Asami knew what had happened before Korra came in to the bathroom that day, "I swear, it felt like my heart was being ripped. You hadn't been talking to me for months and I see the name 'Christa' and I was like 'Wow, so she can't talk to me, but she can talk to her ex' and it messed me up, Asami. You have no idea."

"Korra...I dated her for a few months sophomore year, I hadn't even met you yet. And, she was just another straight girl that wanted to get off on the closest thing available, you remember that, I know you do." Asami clarified and reached for Korra's hand, interlocking their fingers. Luckily, Korra didn't pull away.

"Did you ever find out why she called you?"

"Yeah, I called her back before going on the plane, assuming that something had happened. Said she had been thinking about me since she saw the post of us two kissing. That she missed me and my...you know, skills..." Asami tries to not be as explicit as Christa was.

"Did you ever meet up with her?"

"No, I wouldn't have lived with myself knowing how she made you so insecure."

Korra nods, "She did, she really fucking did. I know you always joked about liking blonde girls and feminine women and I'd always go along with it, knowing that somewhere deep inside me it was making me feel really fucking bad."

Getting to hear this perspective when Korra wasn't angry was very new, but good, "I shouldn't have made those jokes."

"It's whatever."

"It isn't."

Korra grips on her hand, "I just felt like I was so far from your type. I'm not feminine, I'm not blonde, I'm not white. And she was. I just thought that maybe you had been talking to her again because I wasn't that interesting to you anymore, because you realized I'm so far off from what makes you happy."

"God, I am so sorry I made you feel that way. You're perfect. You always had me interested, even at times I didn't show it. I love everything about you and I still don't have a type, my type is just you." Asami knows the things she's saying are things they would be saying if they're reconciling, but quite honestly she can't tell what this is exactly.

"You're mine too." Korra gives her a side smirk, "But uh, you know... I went off on you, said some fucked shit, then you said that you were leaving and you blamed me for a lot of things. Then _that_ morning you said you bought a plane ticket before going to the university to switch out and I just...I was really not okay. I called the group up, got high and drunk, like really fucked up."

"I know. I barely could recognize you when I came in."

"Yeah, and things just...happened after that. You left in the morning without even talking to me. Just a letter on the fridge. Jesus, that fucking hurt. You have no idea, Asami."

Asami feels her heart breaking once again, "I'm sorry. I should have talked to you." She feels tears again dropping down her cheeks, then she laughs, feeling a million things at once. "I'm the biggest fucking idiot in the galaxy. I broke your heart for no reason. I should still be with you. I don't care how I sound, I should still be with you. You're the only who has ever loved me and I know those feelings are gone for you, but I have to say this."

"They're not." Korra interrupts with a whisper, but Asami doesn't hear her, she just continues.

"I messed up. Big time. I pushed you away, I didn't talk about my relapsing, I let the best t-thing to ever go. The best that has ever happened to me," She stands and walks around, "You have no idea how many dates I went on, trying to be with someone so I could get over the fact that you absolutely hated and hate me. How many times I had sex with terrible, desperate people just to try and get over the fact that I fucked up. Get over you seeing you with that girl."

Asami grabs onto her hair like a madwoman and shakes her head, "I know why you kissed her, but the image killed me. It still does. Because I don't _want_ to see you with someone else. I want you with me, only with me. I threw myself around with the wrong people for the past yea-"

Korra kisses her and shuts her up, her hands cupping Asami's cheeks. Asami is late to react, but then her eyes flutter close. There's a salty taste from Korra's own tears, but Asami dives into the kiss even if she was taken aback at first. There's not a lot of tongue, just their lips moving as Asami starts to calm down. She puts one hand on Korra's.

"I needed you to shut the fuck up." Korra says, their foreheads touching and their breaths on each other.

"S-sorry."

Korra pulls away, but keeps her hands on Asami's cheeks, "I still want you Asami, I adore you. You have no idea how difficult everything has been the past years. I dived myself into weird, bad relationships, way too many one night stands. None of them were you," She presses a gentle kiss to her lips, "I still want everything with you, please, please tell me you do too."

"More than anything, Korra."

Korra's smile is so wide that it clenches at Asami's heart and the kiss that follows even more so, "I've been trying to get a lot of what I just said off my chest for years. I know we have so much more to talk through, and I want to. I want to fix everything. I want us to figure this out."

"We will. We have a lot to talk about, but I can't be without you anymore, Korra. I-I just can't." Asami shakes her head, she refuses to not be with her.

"Okay, then you won't. But, Asami," Momentarily she panics, but lets Korra speaks, "You're not allowed to ever push me away like that, I'm serious. I don't care if it's about wanting to relapse, your family, literally anything that is going on in your life, you have to talk to me." Korra's tone is serious, almost authoritative in a way.

"I will never do that to you again, ever. It was so immature and it caused me so much pain because I lost the best thing that ever happened to me as a consequence.” Asami pulls Korra close and wraps her arms around her waist.

"Wait...w-what about distance?" Korra asks with her arms around Asami's neck.

Asami breathed in and out, trying to figure something out, "We're both adults and I have my own income and a lot of my dad's money left. We can travel often to each other, at least until you graduate. Then, we can figure something out. I want this to work, Korra. These three years have been the longest of my life, and I can't live like that anymore."

"Me either."

Asami's the one that initiates a kiss this time, and it is way more gentle and tender than the ones they have shared in the past day. There is no way she is losing this feeling ever again, the taste of Korra's lips, the way her arms feel around her as she run her hands through her hair. She deepens the kiss, but then remembers something.

Asami pulls away, keeping her arms in place, "You don't regret last night, do you? I-I'm sorry if I made you do something you didn't want because I thought it would help me move on."

Korra raises an eyebrow, "Even after I ate your pussy like that and fucked you with a dildo the way I did, you think I didn't want that?"

Asami's face heats up and she bites her lip, "You have such a way with words."

"You love it." Korra moves a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"I love you." Asami blurts out. She hasn't said that to anyone for years, that felt good. For a second. Until she realizes what she said, "Oh my god. I am so sorry. That was really stupid, Korra. I'm sorry, I was just thinking out loud." Somehow her face grows even hotter.

Korra just chuckles and stares at her for a moment, "I love you more, so much more. I missed those words out of your lips."

The tears falling out of Asami's eyes are almost embarrassing, so she moves her head into Korra's neck and sobs there. Asami has her back, against all odds she's back to her. Coming here was the best decision she could have made, even if there was absolutely no thought process behind it. She's glad she came back and although this wasn't what she expected, it's what she had secretly hoped. There is absolutely no way she doesn't grow old with this woman, no way she's shutting her out like she had as a teenager. They still had much to talk about, but right now, all Asami wants to do is hold on to Korra.

"I don't ever want to let you go." Asami says through sobs, holding Korra's waist impossibly tighter.

"Then don't."

**Author's Note:**

> i hope it’s not painfully obvious im heartbroken about my ex
> 
> wish i knew how to link music on here, but the beach by the neighbourhood inspired me big time. great song.
> 
> the title is from “my tears are becoming a sea” by m83 even tho the song itself doesn’t go with the story at all


End file.
